Yesterday really not my day. But it started out the day before when I can't find company to go with, to my friend birthday chalet. It's okie, then I continue to plan for my Saturday. The intial plan was to meet a friend in town, walk alittle, look for present, then go for my appointment, if time allows, maybe chat awhile before heading to east coast.

The plan goes well until, I received a sms from my colleague, informing me that there is some problems I need to attend to right away. I have no information I need on hand, no internet and no nothing. So I left with no choice, to go back to office. Made number of calls, received tons of calls, trying all means to resolve the problem here and there. Fine, is done, left the office around 5pm....rushed back for my appointment.

When I was done with my appointment, it rained heavily, and I'm simply trapped. The only place I can buy the present from was only far east since Im trapped over there. I tried my very best to grab an appropriate present, searching high and low for appropriate gift bag etc. By the time Im done, it around 7pm. Yet the rained still not yet stopped. And town was super crowded! Even I had an umbrella, Im still wet...while trying to protect the present.

Finally hopped on to the bus 16. Knowing that, walking distance is going to be super long, and lonely, I decided, to alight one stop before the usual stop, and flag for a cab. To my dismay, there's no cab!!! For you information, is still drizzling! I tried to shift myself to a place where I can flag a cab much easier. However, it was a mistake actually. I walked one big round back to where I originally was. The feeling really sux when you are wet and feeling super cold, right at a unfamiliar location alone. Is almost the same feeling as helpless.

I took almost an hour to reach my destination. What a day right.....just wasnt my day.

Life are full of temptations and doubts.

The new designer has arrived for almost 2 weeks. As promised, my job scope has been re-adjusted. Less design work, more account management role. I see myself doing partial account servicing, partial designing and partial account managing. At times, I am expected to know alittle more on the technical aspects as well. It is fun! I have opportunity to meet people (though it can be a challenge), went through thinking process to resolve certain issue, etc.

However, it can be quite confusing since Im holding multiple roles. And Im still quite new in the area of account management. People I don't used to work with, now I have to work closely with each and everyone. One more challenge is that, I have to really control my emotion. Well, you know, normal chit chatting is fine, but when it comes to asking a request to work on certain things, many things can happen.

Though it sounds kind of complicated, but I believe I can get something out of this, this time. At least, the kind of stress I'm having is not because I run of our creative juice, but more of something that I knew I can handle it and end it with a smile. I guess that's called job satisfaction. Not easy, but with a good guidance, I have good feeling about all these changes.

I will be who I am, with the confident that I've long lost it. Ha! I will!

I know there are huge pumpkin around on earth, but to touch and see it with my own hands and eyes, I am still quite amazed. My next question is, is the pumpkin real? Ha

My colleagues decided to go into a much more healthy lifestyle, therefore our pantry foods are full of oats & wheat stuff. And we have make Wednesday and Friday to be our fruit day. This Wednesday, we had watermelon; picked by yuling and me! Since none of them has an ideas how to pick a good watermelon, and both of us at least have some ideas how to, we knocked, listened and finally picked our first watermelon in life! Not bad, we picked a big, sweet and juicy watermelon!

Thanxs to our dear Richard, who cut the watermelon, caused us a mess in eating it. Why? Because he cut it in a super huge piece!

My head would sink into the curve of the watermelon

Everyone is thinking of a way to eat our huge watermelon. This is what yuling did.

Jas ignored the whole mess, break them into smaller pieces.

In the end, I gave up, to avoid causing more mess to my table, I shifted myself to basin, to complete my impossible task.

Our meinu meiting seriously cant stand it, she saved our mess by cutting the rest of the watermelon to much smaller pieces. Whew~ haha

Well, having mood swing again. Hated this feeling. It makes me moody and temperamental. Small little thingy will cause me sadness. Argh~

Words are getting lesser every year. Seem like those important people around me are not in a good state. Sometimes I feel lost, I knew yet I cant do much help. Those who are in great conditions, yet I'm not there to share their joy either. What's going wrong? Maybe....Im not satisfied with I have right now. Sounded alittle greedy, but I have not even reached the average level yet. I want to be normal, but Im not normal. Nothing much I can do, I could only continue what I am doing, and wait.

I don't know what god want me to learn which I haven't learnt so far, I just do hope, and wish for the best outcome to arrive soon.

All of our life, we are always learning something new. Don't mistaken, Im not refering to academic aspect, rather real life lesson. For instance, how to be a better person, how to handle downturn in life etc. Somebody started their life lesson later than others, some started much earlier than they could handle. Some even refused to attend these lesson (more like they cant escape, they just refused to admit they had attended before). Some are lucky enough, they have pre-lesson advices. Some are not, they went through whole lots of stuff without any advices.

Every song has it's story to go along with. These 2 two days, I had hugged my ipod to sleep. Playing all my 'favour' songs and put me onto a journey, where past memory flashes back on its own. Each songs are telling their own stories, makes me feel exactly how I did back in the past when I heard the song. I like to feel, i attached al kind of feeling to things I see, I hear, I smell and I touch (not much of taste though).

I miss 95FM. Ever since the internet streaming is being taken off, I hardly have chance to listen especially at night. And since, im sharing room, it gets even harder to listen to my favours on a speaker at night. hmmm....I should go and get a mini hi-fi set soon. Else my cds, my songs gona get rusty.

Whew, finall had a free off on Friday. Well, I didnt really plan something on, I just wanna be lazy for this long weekends. Indeed, Fri seems like a Sat, and Sat become Sun. Yoohoo, meaning Sun is an extra day! hahah Just a feeling though.

Well, not that my life are boring like my blog, just that at times Im too lazy to blog. After work, I just want to sit infront of the tv screen, or went online for some movies. Have been spending my eyes on the screen for the whole day, I just don't wish to spend even more on it.

Oh back to my long weekends. Hmm...Friday went for a movie, since dear won a pair of movie screening for "blood ties". Saturday went to supermarket source for some extra hot sauces fto add into our buffalo wings, as well as the ingredients for the Sun sukiyaki. It was our second tries making the buffalo wings. I swear, this time is real good! woohoo!

It's hot, and the textures were great! As for the sukiyaki today, hmmm was alright. But I guess, when you ate lots of it, the taste will just get really sweet and salty. So I shall not be too greedy, next time and one small pot from beppu will be enough. ha

Following week will be kind of pack. I'll be travelling to the east twice, on Friday (Meeting) and Saturday(BBQ session over boss place). On my god, I seriously hated the feeling. How am I gonna go home after that? Taxi fare gonna kills.....argh~ And Thursday, kenny's birthday celebration at Chervon. Another place where hard to go home from. I don't like travelling around at night alone. It always seems so lonely, and cold. Argh~

I was totally in fury today. Nothing goes the right way, ended up to be just another, no, more false hope. I started to lose my fighting spirit. Im not moving at all! Instead, Ive been a nice person "helping out" doing some left over or newly untouched yet urgent matters. And all ended up, losing my initial plan of tagging along to meet people, learn and see more things. Hai~

The feeling is the same when adult promised to bring the child to disneyland, but ended up staying at home, not going disneyland nor anywhere, and added 2 books of assessment as homework.

And the bags that bought online doesnt cheer me up at all, instead it turns out to be disaster. 3 out 5 bags are in wrong color! How lucky I am siah~ so lucky that even I sit down quietly and do nothing, a bird will still fly over my head, and shit on it.

Seriously I need a booster, to boost my moral. My emotion is really getting out hand. I showed a big black face to all my colleagues, ignored the eye contacts while they talked to me, even ignored one of them who trying to make me smile. I need to even listen to my ipod on my way back, watch some video to cool down. Though not fully yet, but still....feeling so disappointed, so angry.